When I was little, I wanted to be an actress

And deep down, I think sometimes I still have that aspiration. Sometimes when I was little, I would watch teen dramas and reenact them with my stuffed animals and dolls. I'm sure a lot of us did this... or at least I hope so. When I was 11, I told my mother that I wanted to be an actress and be in movies and become an international star, world-renown. My mother laughed. She told me that I was destined to do something more important with my life, something more worth my time. I grew up with parents who tried to hammer the word "DOCTOR, DOCTOR, DOCTOR" in my head all throughout high school. I'm sure a lot of Asian American kids have lived through a similar experience.

One of the main reasons why I think there aren't enough Asians in American film is that many of us grew up in a household that held very little patience for thinking outside of the norm. We were fostered by a culture that does not allow for "radical" ideas such as dating as a teenager or wearing a short skirt on a sunny day, much less becoming an actor/actress, a career which has no guarantees of a stable income.

I'm not afraid to admit that my parents really did influence me. They discouraged me so much from wanting to go into acting because it would "make no money" that I started to believe it and believed less in myself. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense, haha.

I think because Asians have witnessed some pretty bad times, to say the least, they feel that their coming to America is a chance for them to start over and they wouldn't want to waste it doing things like acting when they could be doing something more prestigious like being a doctor or lawyer.

As for the discussion on Friday, I was sick so I did not attend class but a friend told me about the debate you guys had between the directors, the actors, and the audience. I'm sad I missed it but if I were there, here's what I would have said:

As a director: There really aren't parts for Asians that would appeal to an audience. As a director, I would be worried about making money. The general American audience has already formed an ideal stereotype for Asians as nerds or as kungfu experts. Think about it this way: If it were the other way around and Americans were trying to get into the Asian film business, wouldn't it be weird too?

As an actor: We can't make any money. No one will hire us. No one sees our potential. This sucks.

As the audience: We have already formed an opinion about Asians... they're too smart for their own good and they're hard-working people. A lot of them wouldn't waste time in the film business anyway, no harm done.

Oh, and here is another thought. I had no idea that white people ever tried to portray Asians in film. How ridiculous is that?! Seriously, I was appalled. And also insulted.

-Dao Nguyen