Seeking help and seeking understanding

Hmm, what to blog about.

I guess I could begin by talking about what I wrote about in my essay. I chose to write on The Namesake because I seriously believe I fell in love with the character of Gogol. The way in which Gogol struggles to choose between his American identity and his Indian identity is very similar to the way I have struggled to identify with my Vietnamese culture and my American culture, as well as French culture (born and raised for 7 years).

For my essay, I chose “affection” as my unifying motif and the one emotion or lack thereof that I identified page after page in The Namesake. Basically, I have a dual thesis. My first claim is that affection was not prevalent in Ashima and Ashoke’s relationship like it was in Gogol’s relationships to Ruth, Maxine, and finally Moushimi because Gogol’s parents are Indian-born and therefore have instilled conservative Indian values whereas Gogol has grown up in an American culture that encourages boasting affection. This ties into my second claim that it is because of having been exposed to an almost detached relationship between his parents that Gogol has strived to do just the opposite—he has pursued relations with American women in hopes of being able to identity with the American culture. I hope that made sense, haha.

For this paper, I found that writing out an outline really helped me construct my argument in a much more organized way. I think I spent more time writing out a 4 page outline laden with evidence than I did writing my 7 page essay, which has yet to be finished. I just couldn’t think of the right way to conclude it. I’ve tried to find a pattern that really fuses my ideas together. I’m trying to explore the fact that in the cases of Ruth, Maxine, and Moushimi, Lahiri established a sense of familiarity to how they are linked to Gogol’s life. For example, Gogol explains how even though Ruth and Maxine roamed the same halls as he did in the same schools he attended, he never came across them. Also, Moushimi is a character who emerges from his past. I don’t know what this could mean and I’m really trying my hardest not to delve into something that may not be there. Does anyone know what this could mean? Furthermore, I’m trying to find a good answer to why Gogol never has a lasting relationship with any of these women. Any thoughts? It’d be much appreciated. Comment if you feel me :]

In response to what we discussed in class today during our open discussion on The Gangster We Are All Looking For, I felt like the book was beautifully written and being Vietnamese myself, I was able to relate to the story she told and the emotions that Thuy Le was trying to evoke. The stories that I have heard from my father about his experience with escaping the war are pretty heartbreaking and always manage to bring tears to my eyes. My grandmother suffered a mental illness because of culminating paranoia and fear just when the North was invading the South. My father’s entire family was thrown out of their own home, a home in which 5 of his brothers and sisters were born and raised. Because of the war, both of my parents were not allowed to attend college (which later caused a problem for them when they immigrated to France). In an attempt to escape Vietnam, my father and some of his siblings were caught and sent to prison for three months (my father was lucky to get away with a sentence of one month). My father told me how he remembers being in a stuffy jail cell where he would witness fellow refugees defecating next to the place where they slept. He told me that they were only fed a bowl of porridge twice a day.

When my father and mother were finally able to escape from the Vietcong, they struggled to restart their lives in France both emotionally and financially. They put up with menial jobs such as waitressing to pay the rent and my father had to put himself through college to attain a degree that would allow him to look for better jobs.

Even though my father and mother have expressed notions of wanting to go back to their home country, they know that the homes in which they grew up have been paved over and nothing will ever feel the same. They don't tell me this but I think deep down, they are still afraid to face a place and time in their life where they were most damaged.

So yeah, I just wanted to share another side of the story to you guys so you get a better idea what it was like for Thuy Le’s family. However, don’t blame yourself if you can’t identify or relate, I wasn’t born in Vietnam and I don’t think I can ever begin to understand how much my family suffered.

Best,

Dao Nguyen