Before taking this class, if someone were to ask me where my home was, I would not hesitate and reply as if it were a question with an obvious answer. But after taking this class this semester and reading the different Asian American novels, I have come to realize that the word “home” can mean many different things to each person. It does not only represent the physical place where you’re living or the place you feel most comfortable, but also a place where you can identify yourself in or with. I have learned that for some people, this concept of a home is very hard to grasp and the question of where your home is can be very challenging to answer. From the six different books we have read throughout this semester, although it is not explicitly stated, they each have a subtle theme of the idea of a home and what it means to each of the characters.
In the Namesake, Gogol, an American born Bengali, struggles to identify himself and also struggles to identify where his home lies. At the beginning, he feels that anything associated with India would not be considered his identity/home because he wants to be associated with America instead. He wants to identify America as his home and his only identity. Even though he spends eight months in Calcutta, India with his family, he does not identify that place as his home at all. Yet, he does not consider his house in America his home either. He wants to establish his own place that he may call his home and established a “home” in an apartment after he graduated from college. Yet, although he truly wants to, he could not make it his home. He would often move around and live at his girlfriends’ place. Sometimes, he would feel more relaxed and at home with them. Especially with Maxine, he feels that he could identify with her lifestyle—until he realized that his home is not all American place but a combination of both American and Bengali cultured place. He then marries Moushumi in hopes of finding a home with her, because she too is Bengali American. Yet, he realizes that a home is not just culture based. At the end, he finds “home” in his father’s book written by the author Gogol. After experiencing both extreme ends of American and Bengali “homes” (Maxine and Moushumi), he still can’t find his place. He still can’t find his identity. This just shows how complicated the definition of a “home” is. There’s no perfect or correct answer. The definition is subject to change. In the beginning, Gogol does not even really want to be associated with his family and call his house his home. At the end, he feels the most “homey” with his family (after his father passed away). Throughout our lives, we will probably find more than one place we consider our homes.
In the second book, The Gangster We Are All Looking For, the narrator gets separated from her home in Vietnam. She tries making America her home but it leaves her with bad memories. She remembers her parents fighting, getting evicted from their apartment, and other not-so-happy events. She considers being with her dead brother homey. Her brother reminds her of some happy and sad moments in Vietnam but the memory of him also comforts/haunts her in America. With memories of him, she never feels alone, even in America. She dances with him, and not alone. I think that the narrator, as she grew up, realizes that she needs to find her own home. San Diego never seemed like a home to her and so she decides to move to the east. Like Gogol, she wants to find a place where she can identity as her home.
In America is in the Heart, Bulosan knows where his home is—America. Although he was born in the Philippines and has his childhood there, he has always wanted to get out of that place. He just didn’t feel quite right there. When he gets to America, although he faced great discrimination and racial violence, he doesn’t give up and continues to live in America. Although there were times where Bulosan questions America’s ways and “personality”, at the end of the day, he still stays with America and fights to stay here. There are times where he feels angry at America and at the constant contradictions (meeting people who hate him and those who takes good care of him). Yet, no matter what, he still feels a strong tie with America and decides that America is his home.
In A Gesture Life, Hata thinks that his home would be his house in Bedley Run or Bedley Run in general. He does not consider Korea his home and doesn’t even really consider Japan his home. He feels no or very little attachment to those places. He tries to make Bedley Run his home by having this “perfect” house, establishing a family, and creating this wonderful reputation of himself. He feels very comfortable there and does not want anything to take him away from this safe “home” of his. But later, he realizes that his home is actually with Sunny, his adopted daughter. He finds out that a home is not just a place of safety, a place of comfort, but a concept of love. Although in the novel, one may view his relationship with Sunny is moved by his sense of duty (in some ways, it is). But I can tell that he does truly love her. He does not want to ever lose her. When he gets the chance to be close to her again (through her son, Thomas), he jumps at the opportunity. When he meets Thomas, he finally realizes that home is not a materialistic house but a place or person you love you be in or be with. At the end of the book, he decides to find a place where he can really feel at home. He dares to explore. This is an important point because I think a home does not just exist but is created. So Hata decides to go establish a true home because he realizes that Bedley Run is not truly his home.
For Wen Ho Lee, in My Country Versus Me, he has always considered America his home but his faith in America waned when he was accused of being a spy for China. For Lee, there was never a moment where he doubted America but later, he feels unsure. He wants to call America his home but people in America want otherwise. They do not welcome him to this home. A lot of people feel like America can never be considered Lee’s home because he looks like a foreigner. Yet, after all the horrible things Lee endured, he still considers America his home. Although he wavered for a bit, at the end, he doesn’t doubt that America is his home. For Lee, America is a place where he establishes his family and that is his definition of a home.
Finally, in Obasan, Naomi’s home is with her Obasan and Uncle. Ever since she was little, she has lived with them and they have taken really good care of her. Unlike Aunt Emily, she doesn’t need to really say that a certain place is her home (like Canada). She thinks that if she’s with her Obasan, then she is at home. She used to think that a home is where her mother is but then her mother left and never returned. This devastated her but she created another home with her Obasan and Uncle later. Again, this proves that a home can be created and established. It doesn’t just exist on its own. It’s a place where you feel loved. In the novel, they were moved time and time again from their “home” in Canada. Although it is a devastating event, Naomi doesn’t feel like she is losing her true home because she still has Obasan and her Uncle by her side. When her Uncle died, that’s when you can see her truly upset because a part of her home is gone. In this novel, different characters had different meanings to what they think a home is or where it is. For Stephen, home is where music exists. For Aunt Emily, it is Canada. For Obasan, it’s probably with Naomi and her husband.
As you can see, home can have very different meanings, as demonstrated in these six novels that we’ve read throughout this semester. After reading through these novels, it makes me want to reflect over my narrative essay that I wrote at the beginning of the semester. For me, I wrote that I feel most at home when I’m with my family. I still think that’s true. But I also think that I can have multiple homes. After my year at Berkeley, I’m beginning to consider Berkeley my second home. APATH, my roommate, and my wonderful dorm make me love Berkeley even more. So a home can mean many things. It can be a place of identity, a place of origin, a special person, or a country. The meaning of home will never be clear and will always change. That is what makes a home special.
Jennifer
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